i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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