All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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