If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
