she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
