i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
