I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
