I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
cat food counts as protein by the way
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
