Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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