Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
