We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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