Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
