That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
