Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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