She said her name was "party"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
