he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
