At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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