i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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