dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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