Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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