I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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