We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
