I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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