Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
