can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
