Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
