Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
this is an emotional support booty call
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
