There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
