Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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