worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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