apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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