Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
