toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Say something about gay babies.
even my farts smell like vagina
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
