Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
