Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
