Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
