I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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