Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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