The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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