you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
