I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
