News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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