I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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