yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
