Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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