just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
