She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
