he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
