the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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