even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
