Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
