try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
